The Alchemist

We’ve all seen “The Shining” starring Jack Nicholson. (If you haven’t, you must! Go now!) Did it scare you? Well, I’m man enough to admit it sure scared the hell out of me the first time I saw it!

But now, re-imagine it as one of those saccharine romantic comedy-drama movies. Got it? Yeah, right. You couldn’t possibly. But someone did, and created a really cool preview that shows that The Shining is really just another chick-flick…

Check it out here

(Oh, and, if you’re curious, here’s the guy’s story in The New York Times.)

I remember reading Richard Preston’s The Hot Zone: A Terrifying True Story back in the mid 90’s and being scared out of my mind by the idea of the Ebola virus. Fears to the contrary, though, the has never quite gotten off the ground to emerge as a world-wide pandemic. Whew.

But now here comes the H5N1 Bird Flu. And it looks like this is a hot one. A couple of quotes taken from Boing Boing:

• H5N1 Bird Flu kills nearly every person who contracts it, and it looks like it is learning how to jump from human-to-human.

• “…a global influenza pandemic is imminent and will kill up to 150 million people.” A World Health Organization said the “best case scenario” would be 7.4 million deaths globally. - Guardian Unlimited

150 million? Holy crap. Did you know that half that (75 million) died in the European Black Death plague? And less than half that again (23 million) have died from AIDS?

I’m going to crawl into my hole now…

Donald Rumsfeld is giving Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, “Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“OH NO!” Bush exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff is stunned at this unusual display of emotion. They watch nervously as Bush sits, head in hands.

Finally, Bush looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

Here’s some great news on the benefit we did at the IRT! A big thank you to all those involved!

The League of Indianapolis Theatres benefit performance for the victims of Hurricane Katrina on Wednesday, September 21 brought in close to $3400.00. Performers from Central Indiana theatres, including the Phoenix Theatre, the American Cabaret Theatre, the Civic Theatre, Beef and Boards Dinner Theatre, Theatre-on-the-Square, IU Department of Theatre and Drama, Anderson University Theatre, Butler University Theatre, the Asante Children’s Theatre, Purdue University Theatre, the Arden Theatre Company, the Actors Theatre Company of Indiana, the Alley Theatre, and the Indiana Repertory Theatre all joined together on the IRT Mainstage for an evening of theatre and music with emcees Priscilla Lindsay and David Alan Anderson. In total, $3,377.79 was raised. Proceeds from ticket sales and the Red Cross collection buckets ($2,326.20) will go to the Red Cross. Bar sales will be split between the Humane Society of Indianapolis and Habitat for Humanity and added to what was in each organization’s donation bucket. The Humane Society will receive $582.59 and Habitat for Humanity, $469.00.

Bryan Fonseca, the Phoenix Theatre’s Producing Director on the event: “I’ve never felt more proud of the theatrical community in Indianapolis. The talent onstage was amazing and the mood in the house was inspiring. It was great to see us all together in such a warm and truly collegiate atmosphere.”

Janet Allen, Artistic Director of the IRT: “The evening had several unexpected joys: in addition to gathering together to raise money for an important cause that has touched many lives, the evening allowed as to commune as artists and to show the audience–and each other–how deeply talented and diverse this community really is. It also allowed us to use our art to comfort ourselves and each other. It was a joyous evening which gave us all a great sense of togetherness.”

The IRT was privileged to host this benefit with the League of Indianapolis Theatres, the group of professionally managed theatres in Indianapolis.

This week is Banned Books Week! From the ALA website:

Banned Books Week: Celebrating the Freedom to Read is observed during the last week of September each year. Observed since 1982, the annual event reminds Americans not to take this precious democratic freedom for granted.

Banned Books Week (BBW) celebrates the freedom to choose or the freedom to express one’s opinion even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular and stresses the importance of ensuring the availability of those unorthodox or unpopular viewpoints to all who wish to read them. After all, intellectual freedom can exist only where these two essential conditions are met.

Support intellectual freedom! Read a banned book!

Performances have been added September 30 and October 1 to the run of The Alley Theater’s production of “3 Guys Naked from the Waist Down”!

“…Big Belly laughs…” - Nuvo

“For a memorable time, it’s worth seeking this out at The Alley” - John Belden, Greenfield Daily Reporter

“I laughed, I cried.” - LizC, IndianaAuditions.com

“Jim Dougherty has directed a tight, well-cast trio of actors…” - Julie Dutcher, Indycallboard

September 30, October 1
Curtain 8pm Friday & Saturday

The Alley Theater
1716 N. Illinois Street, Indianapolis
Box Office - 317.926.8888

Wow, tonight was great! I just got back from performing in a benefit event at the IRT (Indiana Repertory Theatre). There were around 20 acts performing tonight in a great show of charity for the Katrina survivers. The other 2 guys, our one-man band, and I did a scene from 3 Guys Naked (The History of Standup Comedy) and the crowd (of probably close to 200!) loved it! It’s so gratifying to have a large crowd enjoy your work.

Once again with Ted’s refrain: “What a night! What a crowd! And what a life!”

(I never get tired of that! grin)

“When Socrates said “know thyself” people had to pee.” That’s one of Ted’s lines from the song “The History of Standup Comedy” in 3 Guys Naked From The Waist Down.

Trouble is, nobody actually gets the joke and just thinks Ted is weird. You see, Ted was a Philosophy major at Yale… and enjoys “pondering the universe” so his jokes can be a bit… yes, weird. This particular one is an inside joke for philosophers because to “PEE” is actually a process in arguing to “Present, Explain, and Evaluate an argument.”

More information here: How to PEE.

Now you know… and knowing is half the battle!

And aren’t you glad that now you can get the joke?

Goodnight. Thanks for coming!

How gratifying! The audience loves the show as much as we do! Here are a few quotes that I’ve seen…

“The show was amazing…” - Kensington Blaylock, Indiana Auditions

“The show is zany and bittersweet. The cast is unbelievably talented and does a great job with the material (it runs a very fine line between being overwhelmingly depressing and overwhelmingly silly). This show has always held a special place in my heart and it’s a little bit more special now. Don’t miss it because this is not a show that can or will be produced very often.” - Wendy Carlson, Indy Callboard

“You won’t get any full-frontal nudity at 3 Guys Naked From The Waist Down but you will get a few good belly laughs…” - Lisa Gauthier, Nuvo review

“I really enjoyed this show. It’s fun, full of energy, and moving. The comedy works, the music is catchy, and the 3 guys give more energy than I’ve seen in a long time. Don’t miss this unusual gem.” - Lance G, Indiana Auditions

“…everybody go see Scott here in “3 Guys Naked From the Waist Down” at the Alley. (No actual nudity) He and the other guys (Sean Michael Johnson, T. Scott Parnell and Jay Hinkleman) do an incredible job on an excellent show.” - John Belden, Indy Callboard

Thank you all! Now… Only 2 weekends left! Come see it!

We opened 3 Guys Naked From The Waist Down last night and it was great! This is the kind of show that never really shines until you get the audience there with you…. and last night’s audience was great! They loved the show and we couldn’t have had more fun playing to them!

As Ted Klausterman would say:

“What a night! What a crowd! And what a life!”

And also a BIG thanks to my partners in crime:

• Sean Michael Johnson - Phil Kunin
• T. Scott Parnell - Kenny Brewster
• Michelle Kelley - Producer
• Jim Dougherty - Director
• Jay Hinkleman - Music Director
• Heather Brenner - Stage Manager
• Amy Ganyo - Costume Design

And, of course, a BIG THANK YOU to Marla McClure for convincing me to audition for the part in the first place! Thanks, Marla!